More than half of this year is over, and it’s not too late to change your frame of mind.
Hammering politics is a scary reality. Retirement decisions, healthcare, personal debt, or an uncertain future if living in the U.S. is even reasonable—are some talking points that were, not for many, an issue about 15-20 years ago.
I’ve often heard of my own journey, how lucky I was, but luck had nothing to with where I am today. I had my own share of pitfalls, more than not, in my life. The thing that held my hand tight was faith and determination. I believed I was not put on this earth to live year in, and year out, unhappy. When I was working, my strategy was to carve a career path and keep my future in the rear window. Each year brought me closer and closer to the reality that I could change my life with a mustard seed of faith. Since having a residence in Europe nine years ago, I’ve met quite a few carrying my same thought. We took a chance. I know I’ve said this many a time, but life is too short and memories fade. Fear captures nothing but anxiety and sleepless nights.
The other day, I received an email from a woman I never met. She’s read my blogs. Her name is Kenya, a Black Woman, born in the U.S.A. She moved to Rome 10 years ago, and set up a YouTube Channel (NaturallyKenya), which reached me before I ever received her email. Kenya has lived in Sweden, Italy, and a few other points in between. She’s studied abroad for an advanced engineering degree, got a pilot’s license, and has mastered a high level of proficiency in several languages, like Italian.
This is what she said to me a few weeks ago: “You know, even I if were the only passenger on the plane, I would still explore Europe. Your writing resonated with me. I studied in Sweden, learned the language, and was single. I moved to several countries, chose Rome as my home. Knowing you can experience life and not know what’s 100% ahead takes more than courage. You need faith to pick yourself up and try again.”
I follow YouTube and Podcasts stories, featuring American Women (married with children, or single), who now live in countries, to name a few: Albania, Belgium, Italy, Prague, Australia, Ireland, France, Croatia, Copenhagen, Switzerland, Greece, Spain, and Portugal. They have settled well, learned the required language, survived the visa process, found a new life/career path, and embraced a different culture—without a Plan B of returning to the United States. Their lives are just that: a life they choose. And I will say, many of these women are Afro-American.
If I can state in closing, well-prepared Americans are living AND THRIVING all over the world. And, yes, dreams are worth holding on to.
What a compliment to your writing, living and determination to have elicited this lovely response from a total stranger, Kenya, who, like you, is a Black Woman, born in the USA, now living in Rome for the past 10 years. Having lived abroad in Paris and a small French town known for its pottery making (for centuries) called La Borne, I can understand both of your desires to thrive while living abroad. Especially NOW with all the craziness that’s going on in America… which is totally frightening at the most basic levels. Keep on living that dream and sharing your discoveries while moving through the transitions that await ahead.
Dear Donna, this series of writings had a purpose. It was to show how it was to live outside the boarders of what was familiar. I meant to plant seeds and satisfy the curiosity of the WHY I choose to change my life (I’ve been asked this question many times). I don’t have the answers, nor did I want to preach and push the idea of packing up one’s life living in a country where you understand the language. I want, as an observer, to plant a seed of a unfamiliar flower— that if looked closer—-can be just a beautiful. Thank you for understanding my WHY and for accepting my WHY.
There are people living and thriving in the U.S. who are happy and know that their reality must be made out of that same consciouness of creative planning, wisdom of self determination and authenity as those who choose to leave. The ones that stay know they are on the front line of decisions made by federal and local government that is not in their interest, but for some of us it was never in our interest, yet we survied and for many prospered. We are here to show that fear is not a tool to dissuade the joy of living, nor the importance of your contributions to life. That there is no laughter of good friends and family, or the right to be different than your neighbors and find that you can still get along.
But, It is an opportunity to be on the front line of change, where change is needed most. The exhilaration of what happens here effects the whole world. The best stories of wartime came from those who where on the front line, the sound of songs where sung with more pupose, to love was with more passion, and to live each day with more more meaning because each day meant something. For their life they choose to live in the home of their ancestors, with the good the bad and the ugly. that coming from a gay Afro-American man determined to live his best life until he dies..
Dear Calvin, my truth in writing, what I’ve been in this series the last few months, was never to criticize or downplay the importance of NOT leaving one’s home to replace another. There has been a curiosity of WHY now my home is where it is. What I planted were seeds to know what can be done if one choose to change the direction of their life. Home is where one’s mindset and heart is. It is not based on what another person paints. My explorations, despite the challenges, have given me no less a victory than if I remained in the country I was born in. I applaud anyone who lives their true self, no matter what their sexuality is. The people I met from all walks of life have shown me that life can be celebrated in a different way from where they were born. I feel we owe it to ourself to be true to who we are, and yet, be given society’s permission to change and discover another part of who we may be. America’s politics and governance is not to be taken for granted–it needs to be pushed and molded back to something less abrasive. Those of us living outside the US are not burning the flag. We’re keeping those memories, just adding new ones to carry us into the next chapter.
I enjoyed your blog very much and recognize a maturation in your tone. I would like to add that I consider the expat, to varying degrees, synonymous with being an artist. It is just another medium, a path of creativity and illumination.
Hi Michael, I never thought myself to be an expat, it’s just a word to bring meaning to where I am living. The foreseen future is an exciting chapter to read. I trying with these recent writings, to give some hope to people who are standing at the thresh hold of their lives. I don’t claim to have the answers, just maybe a seed planting of what can be.
Hi Cheryl. I want to clarify the word expat and why it is a powerful word to me. In its purest form, an expat is an individual who has become a Citizen of the World. Of course, there are many reasons why an individual might cut their indigenous moorings. Going overseas is an adventure and life-confirming embrace of an expansive, mysterious, multi-layered world. If I had a choice, my passport would read: Citizen of the World, which is relative to wherever one finds oneself.
Living in the world takes more than a passport, but a mindset to accept those things that are foreign and trust your instincts. I agree that this experience is life-changing and for that I’m happy with what I can do each day. Thank you Mike.
Yes Cheryl, Dreams are worth holding on to. All the best, Zoë
I think dreams are important the older we get.